The biggest shock of this year

I want to remember this moment.

They say you learn about a person's character during moments of stress.

My brother Aswad turns out to be an abusive and emotionally unstable character.

When in argument, he doesn't know how to handle himself.

Talk to him in private and you can be sure he'll bring it out online in no time.

You cannot be safe with this guy.

It all started two weeks ago when we had a chat over teh tarik. He shared with me his recent 'adventure'.

He wanted to put it on his blog. I said not to. He would be embarrassing himself.

I said certain things should remain private. It's just common sense. He agreed.

I thought that was it but the very next day, he did exactly the thing we both had agreed he shouldn't do. He blogged.

As a friend, I was furious! This fucke_ is 36 years old and he cannot even protect himself from himself!

I decided I had had enough of this guy's antics. I knew it was going to be unpleasant but I had to tell him off.

I acted swiftly. Gave him a phone number belonging to a shrink. Told him in no uncertain term to deal with his problem "like a man".

And what did he do? He responded by writing a nasty, hit-below-the-belt note about me on FB. Dragged my kids and parents into it. Saying things about me on FB which I can’t defend myself to because he blocked me.

The fact that I had been a loyal friend didn't matter at all to him. That I listened to him when he was sad with his munchkin problems, defended him when people said bad things about him.

Bila dia sakit, aku hantar pegi hospital, bawak pegi beli tongkat.

Introduced him to my friends as my buddy.

All these things didn't matter at all.

So I tried to help. All I did was told him to deal with his problem. But he bit my hand. Big time.

Now he's completely out of control, out of his mind, and hell bent on shaming me online.

This has been the biggest shock of this year. Dia nie rupanya orang gila, cuma aku je yang tak tau.

So this is it for our friendship. Cukuplah. I do not befriend crazy people. If he needs help, he knows where to go.

What's nice about this year's birthday?

Answer: I'm on my way to obliterate my fear of water.

The day before yesterday, I had my first official swimming lesson at the Panasonic sports complex.

Swimming lesson? But you're a diver, you say.

Well, that may be so but really, swimming and diving are two different animals. There are plenty of divers out there who can't swim. They feel secure in their diving gear, but without it, well, they can swim a little but not very well.

I thought that wasn't right.

Which was what Tuesday's lesson was all about.

Coach Dolphin Lee made us swim breaststroke, a bit of freestyle swimming and corrected our kicks and strokes.

But the highlight of the evening was when he took us to the deep end of the pool -- and told us to jump!

"Get onto the numbered platform and jump," he said.

You mean, jump as in... JUMP? Into the water?

Yes lah.

My girlfriend, who was taking the lesson with me, and I hesitated.

"You go first," she said.

Fuck!

I got onto the platform. Mulled over it.

Coach was already waiting in the water.

"Ok, one, two, three -- jump!" said Lee.

Nothing happened. I was staring at the clear water through my goggles, still mulling over it.

I will come back right up, right? I asked Lee for some assurance.

Some kids sitting nearby started laughing at me.

Fuck, kids laughing at a grown up man. I have no way out of this!

So. Secured my arms over my chest, looked straight ahead and took one step forward like in diving's giant stride. Splash!!!

Bubbles everywhere. Reached the bottom of the pool in an instant. Kicked a little. Got back to the surface in no time, with a smile on me face.

Yes! I did it!

And for some reasons, water treading feels a lot easier after you have overcome that fear of jumping.

After a few more jumps, I had pretty much overcame my fear for the deep end of the pool. Can't wait to jump again next week. Hee.

Happy Birthday to me.

We could be together

My girlfriend sent me this Debbie Gibson video recently.



Debbie Gibson is a late-80s, early-90s teen pop icon who wrote, produced and performed her own songs.

I haven't heard that song for a long time, and only remember the chorus.

If you said "Jump", I'd say "How high?"
If you said "Run" I'd run and fly
Just for the chance
Just for the moment should moment pass us by
And if you ask once I'll tell you twice
I'll ignore the world's advise
If we could be together for a while

That video just made my day. Girlfriend and I are both in our thirties, and this just made us feel all teeny and carefree all over again. ^_^

Never mind all those photos I saw on the Net.

I am now a certified scuba diver

I look like an idiot in this photo but yes, I have completed my PADI Open Water Scuba Diver course! Last weekend in Redang!

Went with instructors Dolphin Lee and Shaiful, along with four other students Wei Ling, Khafiah, Mr Yong and Rose Yasmin.

The youngest in the group was 16 years old while the oldest was 60. I guess you could say ours was a diver(se) group.

We did four dives altogether, the last of which was a boat dive at the Bahagia shipwreck about 10 minutes from our resort (15m deep).

Unlike last year when I went for that DSD thing in Perhentian and thought I was going to die, my confidence level this time around was at an all-time high.





Swimming through the ship's toilet without having to pay 30 sen.


Alamak, dah jauh dari toilet baru terasa nak buang air.


Checking on my buddy, Wei Ling. You ok, buddy?


She's ok.


Shiny happy people.


Good news all around as everyone in our group was able to perform the required skills.

Next step for me is Advanced Open Water. And swimming. I wanna get good at this.

I got married today!

Friends were utterly shocked when I put on my Facebook status update last night: Ridzwan A. Rahim is getting married tomorrow!

Adding to the controversy was a FB friend who claimed to be the person taking the plunge with me.

Of course, it wasn't at all what my friends thought it was. I wasn't getting MARRIED. I was just getting my scuba diver license done.

So what's with that marriage thing? Allow me to explain.

A month ago, it occured to me just how much my encounter with scuba diving has been something like a love affair. Consider the following:

1. Last year when I had my first taste of the activity, via discovery scuba dive (DSD), it was like a very memorable fling.

2. Since that first experience, and now that i knew it could be done, I kept coming back to the island for more. So it was becoming like a relationship. You're having fun. You know that whenever you want 'it', it's there. But you're not yet willing to commit.

3. Then, about a month ago, I bought a bunch of diving equipment -- mask, wetsuit, booties, fins. The first sign that I was taking this thing seriously. At that stage, I was getting engaged.

4. Today, I began my confined water scuba course. This will be followed by an open water course in two weeks' time which, if completed as planned, will make me a certified scuba diver. This is marriage. I'm saying my till death do us part.

I shared this observation a few weeks ago in Perhentian, with Ariel, a writer from Virtual Malaysia along with Meena from The Sun and my instructor Simon from Universal Diver.

So when Ariel saw what I wrote on my FB, she knew exactly what I was talking about. And it was true that she was taking the plunge -- joining me in the confined water course!

A year ago, I was convinced that I would never take up scuba diving. At the end of the Panasonic marine conservation project, I was just happy to come back alive, because that was a big achivement in itself.

I was convinced I would never take up scuba diving because I thought it would just take too much of my time and money.

So what made me change my mind? Three things:

1. Overcoming fear
I like it that this activity teaches me to overcome my fear. I used to be scared of large bodies of water. Not anymore.

Over time, I hope to also take up advanced open water scuba diving, rescue diving and ultimately swimming and lifesaving. I want to save people's life.

2. That magical sight
One of the sights during that first dive in Perhentian that I will carry with me for the rest of my life is when Charlie my intructor told me to stay on the sea floor while she went to help another newbie.

After waiting for a while, I looked up and saw Charlie descending towards me. The sun was shining behind her and she was surrounded by thousands of small fish. Definitely not something you can get at Aquaria KLCC.

3. Scuba diving is also where I met some of the most beatiful and confident women. Unfortunately, most of them are married.

Michael Jackson makes me smile

So Michael Jackson was buried yesterday (early this morning Malaysian time). Finally, we could say our farewell. Finally, it was time to let go.

Yeah of course I like his songs. I grew up listening to them. I especially like 'Man In The Mirror'.

I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life
It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

But it's not just his songs that make me smile: Michael Jackson was also a big part of how I ended up working at NST today. I am not kidding!

In 1996, I was a freshie at Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. As with most first-year students, I was looking for a scholarship.

One day, I chanced upon a walk-in interview for an NST scholarship.

I gave it a try. One guy interviewed me. Two things I remember from that interview: first, the guy was all smiling, all laidback and made me feel at ease.

Second, I was the only computer science student who applied for that scholarship.

Soon afterwards, I was invited for a second interview at Balai Berita. This was when it got interesting.

There were five NST executives in the room. Five pairs of eyes looking at me.

One guy, who was sitting in the middle, said nothing throughout the interview. All he did was stare.

I was pretty sure that I didn't impress any of them.

To make matters worse, towards the end of the interview I was asked a current issues question.

"Apa dia event yang sedang berlaku sekarang nie yang orang betul-betul nak tahu, kalau boleh setiap minit kita nak tahu perkembangannya?" asked one of the execs (the interview was conducted in both English and BM).

I thought for a while, then suddenly remembered something and blurted out:

"Michael Jackson nak datang Malaysia ke?"

I must've seem so earnest, because immediately all of them, including the middle guy who said nothing, burst out laughing!

There was nothing wrong with that answer, because Michael Jackson really was coming to Malaysia. But it wasn't the answer they were looking for.

"American presidential election lah. Apalah kamu nie," said the exec, still laughing.

I think when I left the room, they were still laughing.

And I thought well that was it -- I just blew my chances at getting an NST scholarship.

Which is why, it was indeed a pleasant surprise to learn some time later that I actually got it!

Thirteen years down the road, I am now working at the best job I can imagine.

Somehow, I felt Michael Jackson had a hand in it.

Varsiti Kita

Found this video on YouTube today. Varsiti Kita is one of two official songs of my alma mater, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia.



For most students, the orientation week is perhaps the only time in their life that they get to listen to this song performed live.

It is a soothing experience. Just before the choir starts singing, there is pin-drop silence and calmness descends on the fresh-faced Dectar assembly.

As the performance gets under way, your spirit gets lifted when the group reaches crescendo and sings, "Bagai tanda perjuangan kita".

After the performance, you are left with this inexplicable warm and fuzzy feeling that makes you want to weep and hug your lecturers.

When I enrolled in UKM in 1996, Varsiti Kita was about the only part of the orientation week that I enjoyed. Becos the rest of the week is chaotic and stressful. Bangun pukul 2-3 pagi la, pakai baju busuk la. Benci, BENCI!

Varsiti Kita trivia: Did you know that the multiracial choir group used the word taqwa (God-consciousness) long before Saudara Lim Guan Eng started using it in his speeches?