Am I going bonkers?

Am I going bonkers? I am 31, single and I don't believe in relationships anymore.

The other day, I had a lunchtime conversation with a friend and the topic was knowing what you know today, what would you do differently in your 20s?

Without hesitation, I said I would put less emphasis on having a girlfriend. That's right. I would delay finding myself a steady and see how long I could keep that up.

But why would anyone want to do that?

I dunno. But I have been having these weird ideas in my head lately. Ideas that say marriage is the only real solution and that sex is best done within its confines and that perhaps delayed gratification is not such a bad thing after all.

Ideas that suggest maybe what I want for myself is to stay single and commit only when the right person comes along. Commit, as in marry. No long-drawn courtships, no trying out different girlfriends, nothing.

Ideas that say maybe, instead of excitement, what I want for myself is peace of mind and stability.

OMG, I've become a boring person. How did it get to this?

I'm not sure. But I do remember years ago when I got divorced, one of the things I set out wanting to understand was the intricacies of the relationship between man and woman.

Why, for example, does God prohibit free mingling between the sexes?

I prayed. I read. I reflected and I spoke to like-minded friends.

My education is by no means complete but these are what I have learnt:

1. Words of love are not to be thrown around freely.
2. The nights that you spend with that special person before marriage are better off spent after marriage.
3. There is no such thing as only one person is right for you.
4. We are put on this Earth for a purpose and, compared to that bigger purpose, 'love' is way insignificant.

Which is why, when I look at today's young couples, I tell myself this is not for me.


So yes, if I were in my 20s, I would postpone having a girlfriend.

Open letter to the Malaysian government

Today they arrested Anwar outside his home before he was due to appear at the police station.

Oh my God, it's 1998 all over again. I never thought this day would come.

This is a sad.

Yesterday I received an e-mail from Islamica Magazine. Some 40 leading Muslim religious scholars and leaders from around the world has signed an open letter, urging the Malaysian government to guarantee the civil rights of whom they refer to as brother Anwar Ibrahim.

Among the signatories is Yusuf Islam.

"We, the undersigned, believe the honorable brother Datuk Seri Dr Anwar Ibrahim to be of the highest ethical and moral integrity, a devout Muslim and a devoted father and husband," says the letter.

"We have no wish to interfere in the internal politics of Malaysia, or in civil and criminal accusations within the country, which we reiterate are ultimately the business only of the Malaysian state and people. However, the spectacle, ten years go, of our respected brother Datuk Seri Dr Anwar Ibrahim sitting patiently in court after having been personally and illegally beaten up by then Police Chief of Malaysia is still fresh within our minds as a travesty of justice and impartiality under the law of a leading Muslim country."

"We are all still ashamed of that image, which will ever be indelibly engraved in our memories."

Elsewhere, the letter makes references to Musa Hasan and Gani Patail:

"..we feel morally obliged to also state our deep concern about the prospects of true justice for Anwar Ibrahim in the current authorities in the police and prosecution departments (whose leadership was personally involved in Dr Anwar Ibrahim's previous unjust accusations) without deliberate, careful, impartial and independent political oversight."

And finally, it states Islam's approach regarding false accusations:

"In fact, under Islamic Law, accusations of this magnitude that are not substantiated by four eye-witnesses of impeccable character (such as did not occur neither with these accusations nor with the previous ones) incur severe legal punishment only for the accusers themselves.

The full letter can be read here.

Do I believe in the accusation? No. And my reason for not believing centres around one thing:

The timing is way too convenient.

It was true in 1998 and it is true now.