When suffering a setback

Inna lillaahi wa inna ilaihi raaji’oon. Muslims say this when someone dies, or when they lose something or suffer a setback or harm. It means whatever you have is not really yours but belongs to Allah. The cars you own. The house you live in. Your businesses. Your spouse. Your kids. Your health. Your body and soul. And when He deems fit, the Owner will come and claim what is rightfully His. And we do not mourn our losses. Like a friend who lends you his book and after a few days asks for it back. You give it to him. No sorrow. No regrets. No questions asked.

Goodbye Mimiko

Well, that was it between me and Mimiko the school teacher.

When we first started out in October, my fear was that it would all end as quickly as it began. You know how relationships are accelerated in the age of emails, text messaging and Facebook. And true enough, it did.

I managed to prolong it by another month though. And honestly, that one month felt like one year.

Cos I was the only one doing the work.

Cos every day I lived with the fear of saying yet another wrong word, starting yet another quarrel.

Cos for the first time in my life, I really, really wanted a relationship to work. I had saving myself for this person for the past four years.

I saw all the warning signs but I ignored them. I thought I was being loyal.

Bah. The price you pay for being too trusting of people..

The big lesson learnt here: never be with someone who is not willing to lay all her cards on the table.

Always on my mind

The pain of breaking up

I thought this relationship, this life, would be good for you, I really did. But if God wills otherwise then what can I do. I will just accept it. There is this pain that I'm going through and it's physical. I feel it in my throat. I feel it in the depth of my chest. I thought I had used up all my tears a month ago but I was wrong.

Syakir reached a milestone today

My son Syakir reached a milestone today at the pool: swimming across non-stop for the first time.

It was completely his own idea. We didn't have class today because it was a public holiday. So I let him do his own thing at the big pool while I went to attend to Farhanah at the kiddie pool.

Later, when I checked on him, I saw him swimming and asked, did you just swim across? He said yes. Then I said show me and then he did. I was impressed.

Then I asked him do you wanna try at the deep end and he said yes. No trace of hesitation whatsoever. We went to the other end and he repeated what he did earlier, with me swimming alongside keeping a close watch. I was very ecstatic!

After a few more times, his confidence level really went up.

Then I said I'm going to go look after Farhanah now so will you be ok swimming alone? He said yes. So I left.

I told Syakir this is excellent. You can show your instructor next week and they'll move you to the class with the better kids.

My son is becoming a swimmer. Best ever way to start the new year. Hopefully by our next island trip together, he'll be brave enough to jump into the sea alongside Daddy.